I heard a phrase today
something that instantly struck a chord in me.
Something I’ve always felt deep down but never found the words for.
Because I was afraid of how it would be received.
Afraid of being judged.
Afraid of being misunderstood.
The phrase was this:
“I am kind, even though I may not always be nice.”
Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that being “nice” and being “kind” are the same thing. That to be a good person, a good friend, a good leader, a good woman we must be nice.
But niceness, it’s often just a performance.
It’s the smile you force when something hurts.
It’s the silence you keep to avoid conflict.
It’s the “I’m fine” when you’re anything but.
It’s people-pleasing disguised as grace.
It values being liked over being real.
And while there may be moments where being nice keeps things temporarily smooth, it often comes at a cost
Your truth. Your energy. Your integrity.
But kindness?
Kindness is something different altogether.
Kindness is rooted.
It’s honest.
It’s grounded in compassion, but not afraid to ruffle feathers when needed.
Kindness can say no and mean it.
Kindness can hold boundaries, with love and without apology.
Kindness can speak the truth, not with the intention to harm, but with the courage to be clear and real.
Kindness isn’t always easy to receive, especially for those who have learned to associate love with comfort. But I’m no longer interested in being palatable. I’m no longer shaping myself to fit into other people’s expectations of who they think I should be.
I am not here to be “nice.” I am here to be true. To be kind.
To be whole.
So if my honesty makes you uncomfortable…
If my boundaries feel like rejection…
If my truth feels too loud…
I get it. I really do.
But I’m not shrinking myself to make others more comfortable anymore.
I am kind. Even when I’m not always nice.
And I’m finally okay with that being enough